The appointment for my 3rd chemotherapy treatment was at 12.30pm, but no chairs were available until after 1.00pm. Once I was in a chair cricket Doctor took his time, so I was able to grab the remote for the chair before I was hooked up. Control at last! I found I could move the recliner back and the footrest up to where it suited me and keep the control nearby. Independence! I fiddled about while I waited and discovered the chair could also tilt from side to side! Vomit aid? Quick escape??
The veins on my wrist have decided "no more" so Dr cricket had to painfully pierce my inner elbow (next to the bruised vein from the vampire extraction the morning before) to insert the canula. Since I had had the allergic reaction last time, my Oncologist had prescribed pre-meds of Phenergan, and some stomach medication to prevent the burning sensation. The usual anti nausea med also went in, altogether with the saline fluid.
Comfortably wrapped in three warmed fleecy sheets, feet up and head back, I fiddled with my new iphone. After a few minutes everything started to blurr and swim in my vision, and I think my brain started leaking. I called for the nurse, and my voice came out as a long slow growl. In that state of course it was necessary to start a deep and meaningful conversation with her. I was like the monster in the HoH - and was so disconnected from my voice, and fascinated at the same time I had to keep talking! Nurse Allison kept saying it's just the Phenergan, probably hoping I would shut up. She was pleased I'm sure when suddenly I was speaking on the iphone to DH - apologising for my voice, but feeling the need to practise and try to get it right. Dh just chuckled a bit and got off the phone asap!
Then I started feeling really sleepy. Phenergan again, but the night before I had only remembered at about 1 .00am that I should have taken a sleeping tablet to counteract the cortisone tablets. As I was going to work in the morning, I did not want to be too drugged up, so I was already very tired. I was barely aware of the Taxotere going in after the fluids and premeds, and dozed snugly. A tremor wobbled in my cheeks, and woke me, then shot down to my legs which rocked and shook violently. I groaned loudly and gasped, coming awake to see Nurse Allison nodding at me - "it's the Phenergan, don't worry."
This happened every few minutes. I would fall asleep, only to be awoken by increasingly violent shakes and bounces. My legs had a life of their own, and atlhough I could feel the tremor building, I could not stop it - in fact I had to have it for relief. No need for the chair's controller to move me around! By the time the Cyclophosphomide was started, the tremors had become more widely spaced, but in my sleep I took to having vivid dreams. These mostly consisted of people asking me things, which I had to answer in my spooky voice. Talking woke me up, then I would have a tremor and then apologise, for talking. Fortunately no-one was listening, and only one other patient remained in the long room. I fell asleep again, this time awakening to DH coming to collect me. There was nearly an hour left of treatment, so he popped out again, and I went back to sleep, eventually the rocking and rolling and talking stopped.
Exhausted, I went home for a long sleep after dinner. I remember my youngest PS coming to hug me and say good night at some stage. I usually pray with him, but that time he whispered the prayer himself, and it was lovely to have a soft hug and hear a soft voice thanking God for our family and friends. Amen.
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