Pillow Talk

I got through from Friday night to Monday morning with prayers, His Word, hugs and hand holds from DH, sympathy and encouragement (and pretty green roses) from my dear scrabble mates, friendly chit chat with a lady from church, prayers and a call from D, lots of input into the discussion forum and anguish of a different kind over some trouble that I could see brewing there. That, housework, sailing and the normal weekend routine with the PS's hurtled me further along the rollercoaster and into Monday.

For some reason I felt I should dress really smartly to receive the news. Or look as pretty as possible. I felt it was the least I could do, so I did. By the time I saw the KD at 4 pm I had worked as hard as I could to catch up on my work ( I was now much further behind after all my time off) and was feeling pretty calm, and looking pretty cool.

KD was surprised to see me, thinking our appointment was for Tuesday (but the receptionist had given me Monday 4pm). Enough results were in for him to tell me cancer was almost 100% likely in my left breast. We chatted about what would come up next on the rollercoaster - it was almost certain a mastectomy, possibly a double would need to be done, followed by chemo and possibly hormone treatment. He explained it all and used his charm on the Path lab to no avail to get my full results. I think he deceived me on the bullying thing. We would have to wait until morning and he would call first thing.

Pillow talk late that night with DH (did I need to say that?) was about chopping off body parts." They have to go" I said. "I want to make a clean breast of everything." " Do you mind?" I asked. "you are not your breasts" said DH. Sweet man. The sleeping tablets, I had had the serene foresight to ask the doctor to prescribe, kicked in and we fell asleep hand in hand.

I didn't have to rush to work as I had a 10am meeting in the opposite direction... the call came at 9.05 as I finished explaining to my cleaner why I would need some extra hours from her in the upcoming weeks. Yes it is cancer said the KD and your appointment with the breast surgeon is on Thursday afternoon at 4.30pm.

Whoosh down the next dip. Rush to the meeting after kissing all my Boys goodbye, no time for panic, but the longish drive to my meeting allowed me to listen to Sara Groves and weep a bit. Good thing I no longer have any Leonard Cohen. It was pouring with rain too, and the road was winding, so I had to concentrate. Running the meeting required me to bestir my acting skills and I conducted and directed that show giving the therapists time to talk, answer questions and still got all the teachers back off to their preparations in time in a manner deserving of an Oscar (or at least a nomination!).

Back at work the good CEO and admin officer (too good and efficient to be an assistant) were fully supportive and very encouraging, as I re-discovered my bossy nature, and compelled my CEO to run my afternoon meeting, and the AO to organise my files while I finished up the rest. (My leave that had meant to start on Monday had been extended to Wednesday so I could make sure everything was up to date) Wednesday was the start of my leave and DH and I were taking the young PS and his friend to Gumleaves. This was a promised trip and no way were we going to renege on it. Besides it would keep us busy and distracted.