Makeover Me

I remember smiling at Trinny and Susannah making women over as I contentedly fed my youngest PS. ( My maternity leave involved a lot of TV watching!) Until the show got weird, (oh, Susannah was always a bit OTT about breasts, wasn't she?) it was fun to see ordinary daggy women like me have thousands of pounds spent on making them look good in well fitting underwear and clothes. That's what I got from those two women... size doesn't matter, but the fit must be good.

So, in the back of my mind I planned to one day be fitted properly for a bra, and to buy myself some really good quality attractive underwear. The daily grind, and greater needs overtook that little dream.... but now, thanks to B C and Medicare, I had my very own makeover (part one)! Reflected in my TV,(the venue was our lounge) I could see my personal fitter, a dark haired Trinny, expertly measuring me up and fitting me with a delightlful set of 4 bras and a camisole! Unlike Trinny and Susannah, she didn't tell me off, make judgements or personal comments, and she asked permission if she had to touch "breast tissue" to get the fitting done. This got me giggling as I remembered the first time a strange woman touched my "breast tissue" - my oldest PS was newborn and the two of us were not managing the breastfeeding task well enough for Nurse Phumi - "do it like this, Mommy!" coming over my right shoulder, and commandingly grabbing the PS's head with one hand and my breast with the other, she plugged the two of us together for the next 8 months.

The other exciting thing about my personal fitter's visit, is that it was "not just bras" but also the fitting for my new left breast! Yes ladies, this little baby looks like a breast, feels like a breast, (it warms to your body temperature) and comes with a money back guarantee, and the option to renew it every two years! What's more, you can keep it now, and Medicare will pay for it within 2 weeks. (Obviously, I'm back to watching too much TV in my time off).

It also comes with a special cleanser (only $9.50 extra, lasts for yonks) and it has it's own nightly resting place, a cradle. After cleansing at night (before you moisturise or you will get cream on the prosthesis and ruin it) pat it dry, and lay it to rest it this special box, with it's moulded cradle, next to your bed, ready for the next day. I'm glad there isn't a breast fairy.