Be prepared

I am a sensible woman - I must be because both the Kind Doctor and the Breast Nurse say so. As a teenager I listened to too much Styx and adopted the words of one of their songs as a basic philosophy: "nothing ever goes as planned, even Pharoahs turn to sand," and this attitude morphed into a "be prepared for anything, roll with the punches" practice that has seen me rolling around a fair bit.

As my energy has picked up, and some side effects have gone, I resolved to be More Prepared for the next session of chemo, and to make the most of feeling like 'doing stuff'. So we've had outings, a blitz on housework, a flurry of office work, and a haircut.

I popped into the local hairstylist, where I was swathed in purple (what else) and asked what I wanted done. The poor little girl (she looked about 13 with braces, but must have been in her 20's) was shocked when I said "cut it all off" . "are you sure?" she kept asking, so I told her it was expected to all fall out soon, and I wanted to reduce the mess, and help my PS get used to the idea of Mom with no hair. Sadly, she was less shocked at this - I was not the first woman who's been in there asking for the same thing.

She lifted up my dark honey tresses to examine the shape of my skull. Peering closely at the back of my head: "there's a lot of stuff going on there - crazy hair, full of waves" she said. "top right at the front is worse" I said. She began to comb, separate, peg up, and finally cut. A neck with a muffin atop emerged. "No, no!" I said," I can't look like that" (people will laugh and point, and I resolved after seeing people do just that when I used to drive my Mini, never to let it happen again). "Cut off more!" The poor girl was distressed. "It's so short, are you sure you don't want to see a picture first?"

I instructed her firmly to cut above and around my ears, like she would cut a boy's hair, chop chop! After an hour and a half, standing in a veritable hill of hair, she finished. Amazingly, it cost me $35 - at my usual stylist I pay $50 for a trim! I went into that sylist looking like Lauren Hutton (back view, from a distance) and came out looking like Ellen Degeneres (poor view).

Talking about money, finances are a noticable part of all this, and need to be considered. Savings for essentials like old age, a deposit on a house, and a holiday back 'home; ' become: "well we've got enough for me to take unpaid leave, if the next chemo knocks me out of action for longer". Praise God. The good CEO is very patient and helpful to me, but in good conscience I cannot commit to full time work, and my sick leave has run dry. I'm prepared to take unpaid leave, and charge by the hour as I'm able, so she's thinking on it.

The next thing to prepare for is the real false breast. The Breast Nurse visited yesterday, and after dispensing with my niggly neuroses ( about "is what I'm eating, drinking and breathing, safe? despite all those horrendous conspiracy theories about poisoned water, and the government gettting rich on the profits of their pollutant greed? Yes. I knew that. All the South Africans who work for Tasmania Hydro wouldn't let poisoning go on.) we discussed in detail the nitty gritty boring details of my side effects (nurses like stuff like that) and then got onto how my wound has healed really well, swelling all down. The funny bump under my arm is 'just my anatomy' and the funny bumps on my chest are ribs (go figure!). So I'm all ready to call in the prosthesis person, who will make a home visit and measure me up. I'll be glad when I get the real falsie, the false falsie is a Pretender, obviously, and it makes me very aware that I have an armpit. It has also been known to creep up from my underwear and settle into my collar bone - not a good look. I now pin it down, and keep it under control.

The BN discussed my emotional state: all good, except for a propensity lately to feel a bit glum in the evenings, and a sense of shock that on feeling a pain, I curved my hand around ... nothing. "You still have a breast in your brain" she said. Well, that's one for the DH to ponder.

So, as you can see I'm a sensible woman, prepared and preparing for what is coming next, and ready to roll. I have someone in my corner though, to break the fall, and pick me up, even to guide and coach me so I don't fall: see Him in Proverbs 16:

1. The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD.
2. All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits.
3. Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

9. A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.

"Be Prepared!" Baden Powell